Coming out of the dark

I am slowly getting Hannah into a schedule and discovering the new normal for our family. The 'fog' is still there, but there have been moments of seeing it lift. Hannah is sleeping wonderfully at night and is doing 5-6 hour stretches between feedings. Hallelujah and amen. Hubby has been a HUGE blessing by taking her during occasional late evening fussy spells and letting me go straight to bed after feedings. I almost feel back to myself.

Jackson has attended a VBS this week. I am proud to say that I have successfully gotten him there by 9am each morning clothed, bathed, and fed. And, I am ever so ready to go back to being in my pjs until 10am next week. :) It has been a good experience for him and I know he's glad to get out of the house more.

It has been great to have some undivided time with my little girlie. And, a little more time to do some other things around the house - like attack the medical bills that come in daily. Can you believe that I got a big fat bill from the anesthesiologist??!! For the epidural that I did NOT have the privilege of receiving!! Grrr... I've already called to petition these fees and they are "researching" it. It can't cost that much to have an anesthesiologist spend 10 minutes to prep me and not actually administer the goods. Can it?!?

We are starting to get out and about a little. Hannah has officially made 2 trips to the grocery store and we went to church last Sunday, although she stayed in her stroller and will not be put in the class this early. I am still leery of doing major errand running with both kiddos, but I'm sure that time will come soon enough. We went to The Bridge's softball game last night. I'm not sure how much of the game I actually got to see, but we were there supporting Daddy and the team! It's comical how many kids are in the stands for our team compared to other teams. Our church is fertile! :)

Murphy's law for (my) newborn

• Will dirty 3 consecutive diapers when you are rushing to get out the door.
• Will wake and demand to be held as soon as you are sitting and holding a fork with a bite of food to be eaten.
• Will sleep heavily through guests coming to see her, yet be wide awake for the following 3 hours (again wanting to be held).
• Will spit up a river as soon as you are 10 feet away from the nearest burp cloth.
• Will sleep through a four year old screaming next to her, yet awake when the door to her room creaks open.

The Fog

I was amazed after I came home from the hospital feeling so well. I had energy and healed very well from the whole adventure. We did the early discharge from the hospital. Then that first week finished and now it's a bit murky 'round here. I'm in what I like to call "the fog".... aka the first month or so after a new baby when sleep deprivation kicks in and you function through each day, but are not really yourself. Words are harder to form into sentences. Items are lost. I can tell you when the next feeding will be and how many diapers I've changed, but if you ask me something like my favorite color I'll have to really pause and think. Forgive me for ramblings and poor punctuation during this time, won't you? :)

Our dear friends from The Bridge and around the area have started to bring meals and it is such a blessing! I might just forget how to cook.

It's hard to believe that my precious baby girl is 13 days old. Oh, how I am utterly and completely in love with her! I love how she will stare contently at my face. How she cracks a content little smile when her head is rubbed. How she is unfazed by a rambunctious 4 year old brother. How she seems to love being cleaned and pampered during bath time. How she wrinkles her forehead and looks identical to her daddy. How she has that "milk drunk" look after feedings. How she makes the cutest little squeaks. (Except when she squeaks at 3am and I'm trying to get back to sleep)

And she just seems so dainty and prissy. I told Mike that I am not sure if it is really her or just me projecting that on her! Even her little burps seem girly to me. Is that weird? Jackson NEVER had that soft baby squishiness - he was always so solid and big. She's putting on the pounds (or ounces, rather) quite nicely. I finally see the beginnings of a fat role on her legs. It is amazing how happy that makes me.

Jackson is still doing very well with the new transition. He tried to pick up a whiny phase again, but I think that's in check for now. And he loves to hold her. Fortunately he is at the perfect age to be a good helper and "fetcher" for me while I do hours and hours of feedings each day. He has told me several times that he wishes he had "brother milk" like I have mommy milk so that he could feed her too. Oh my! We have laughed about that one!

Little one is starting to grunt from the bassinet. Chow time...