Be afraid... Be very afraid.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I just heard that New Kids on the Block are back. Or NKOTB - or whatever they will be called because certainly they are neither new nor kids now. Which leads me to another question: Who is their target audience?? Women in the late 20's/early 30's? Or are they hoping to get the tweens to swoon like they did 20 years ago??

But I digress.

This news brings back some serious memories. I have a sordid history with the New Kids. In the eighth grade, my two best friends and I decided that they were the greatest thing since jelly shoes. We had buttons all over our acid washed jean jackets. We sang the songs on the bus back and forth to middle school. We each had our favorite that was our object of total infatuation. (Different ones so we didn't compete with our BFF).

So, we were more than thrilled when a classmate invited all 3 of us to join her at their concert. This classmate took her obsession with the band to a much higher level. She was an official member of the fan club. They were the subject of her every conversation. And, she her dad was a local DJ and had FREE tickets on the 5th row. It was our dream come true.

I should have known what I was in for when she had her dad try to find the band's limo before the concert. We circled for what seemed like forever to find them. No luck. She was actually teary-eyed. That's weird, I thought. But, I was anxious to get in the arena and see them perform.

They came out, and I was completely baffled by the level of shrieks. Off the charts decibels. And, I looked around me and girls were SOBBING everywhere. What in the world? I started to joke with my buddies about it when I saw our friend (the one that invited us) having a total cry-fest. Honestly, she was bawling and reaching out towards the stage yelling "Joe!" for at least the first 2 songs.

Unreal.

Following the concert, there was a mad rush towards the stage. The bodyguards and security could not hold the love-sick girls back. We were literally carried up by the crowd. (I did get to shake the hands of 3 of the guys). One of my friends got trampled to the floor and stepped on. Again, I was completely baffled. This was insane-asylum-material, as far as I was concerned.

Our friend's dad picked us up and she made him again circle around to find their limo and then their hotel. She cried the whole time. Oddly, her dad acted like this was normal.

Following that night, my BFFs and I decided that the New Kids were totally uncool and anyone that liked them were a freak. [Disclaimer: I was a total snobby, brat in middle school]We threw away all our buttons and pin-ups. And, I haven't looked back.

So, hearing the news today makes me laugh. Or cry. Or hide in fear. I'm not sure.